Don't let the guage get under 1/4 full in your relationship tanks.

My wife of 33 years has been telling me for years not to let the gas tank get below 1/4 of a tank.  When it approaches that mark she goes and gets the tank filled up. We have had an ongoing conservation for the entire length of our marriage about this concept.

She want to be prepared for the unexpected and has enough gas to get where she needs to go. I think I will always be able to find gas even when the yellow  fuel light is blinking.  I have run out of gas at least five times over the past 30 years, my wife has never run out. 

Too often, we view our relationships like a tank of gas,  we run them so low on fuel that when we run out of gas in our relationships we are surprised.  It seems we have a lot of realtionships that have yellow flashing lights, and we are not sure where to find the fuel to power that relationship back to a full tank.

Relationships are like gas tanks.  Taking the lead from my wife, we should never let our relationship "tanks" get below a 1/4 of a tank.  The first step in this approach (men) is to understand how to read the guages. Many of use think the tank is full in our relationships and they are running on fumes. Most of the time this happens because we have been too busy to put in any fuel. Fuel can be many things: time, a hug, a gentle word, a non combative discussion, all add fuel to the relationship tank.

We all are moving so fast today, we do not see those we love needing replenishment of any kind. So the tank gets lower and lower and one day there is simply no more fuel to keep the relationship going.  Then we are forced to make mad dash and try to find fuel and get it back in the relationship tank so we can continue down the road of life.

We have all been there at one time or another trying to recharge a relationship.  Imagine if we maintained a self awareness never to let the relationship tank get below 1/4 of a tank.  Its those relationships that last because they never have to stop, they continue with momentum down the road of life.  It takes a lot longer to get down the road of life pushing a car because its out of gas versus driving with a gas power vehicle.

So today, take a moment to determine how much fuel is in the tank of that person you have a relationship with.  If it needs refueling take it immediately to be refueled.  Because if you depend on the flashing yellow light you may be disappointed , it is only an estimate of how much fuel is left. Don't take the chance with any relationship that you can make it another few miles without fuel, or you may be left alone on the side of the road without anyone with you.

I call it the 1/4 of a tank rule, its a good one for cars and relationships.  Spend today filling up the cars and the reationships in your life to a full tank and never let them go below 1/4 full.  While this is the most important with personal relationships, it also applies to business relationships. Imagine pushing big flat square rocks up the hill of life with a team who is running on relationship fumes because you as the leader were too busy to replenish the tank.

The First Step in Rock Pushing is Vision Casting

Too often, vision casting is simply an exercise in viewing the future through a big telescope. You look to see where you want to end up achieving your business or personal success. In order to push big Square Rock uphill you must use your imagination and not only see where you want to go but how to get there.

I have been most successful when I can in-vision every element on the very steep hill that is standing between my efforts and success. For every idea I have had, only those where I can see myself actively engaged in have been successful. If you cannot imagine yourself in the daily grind towards success, you may be on the wrong hill with the wrong Square Rock. The successful entrepreneur must not only take the time to cast a vision for the ultimate destination, but also a plan on how to get there.

General Norman Schwarzkopf who laid out the blue print for the allied forces in the first Desert Storm battle in Kuwait and Irag, inspired me with his vision casting for the battle plan of the war. He said the vision was to win the battles, the difficulty was to in-vision all the different ways to get to the successful outcome. He said he tried to anticipate all the different moves the Iraq Republican Guard might make and be prepared to respond to them. The battle field is like business, the successful leader must adapt as changes happen real time. Nothing kills business momentum as quickly as having to stop pushing the Square Rock uphill because you have encountered a major obstacle in your path that you did not expect.

This concept has been around for thousands of years. Sun Tzu who wrote the "Art of War" said it a little differently but the end result is the same. He said' "The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his mind before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand."

By spending time each day on the vision for your company, project, or idea you are able to look at different ways up the hill. To often, we see only the prize and one way to achieve our goal. As the leader you must see things as a whole, which includes the daily grind of helping insure you team does not become confused by the obstacles they encounter on the hill.

I am able to close my eyes and role-play a variety of scenarios all with the intent of reaching the top of the hill. This is how I use the in-vision process to make sure I have evaluated as many possible directions and situations as possible. The exciting thing is when one of the in-vision role play actually becomes a reality. Just as General Schwarzkopf did in Desert Storm 1, I have practiced the reality in my mind and I am not surprised when or if it actually happens. Shame on the leader who only sees vision casting as a single final destination or single caculation. The successful Rock Pushers are always evaluating and recasting their vision to include as many possibilities as they can imagine.

Go out today and bring your vision casting from the top of the hill down towards the path you are rapidly approaching and see if makes it easier once you approach this part of you quest.

The Chief Rock Pusher.

Sharing lessons learned from an Eternal Rock Pusher

For almost twenty years I have lived the life of a serial entrepreneur. After spending the first half of my career with fortune 500 companies I have started five different companies.  In all of these business endeavors I equate my life to pushing square rocks uphill.

I have managed to stay married to the same wife, raise two kids, pay for a very expensive  wedding, continue to pay for college and have watched the birth of my first grand child.

I have witnessed first hand the difficulty in birthing an idea into a product and taking that very precious concept into the market.   It does not matter if you work in a large company, an small company, you are a leader or a follower, you are involved each day in pushing either your rock or someone else's uphill.

I hope the stories of my success and failures will enlarge your vision of who you can be and how you can be more effective leader of men and women in all areas of your life. 

Over the years I have achieved great success, experienced total failure, and yet always continued to climb the hill in front of me.  I have tried to capture the essence some of the most powerful concepts that we tend to ignore in business.  As I present these concepts to you, I want you to consider that anyone can use the principles.  

The first key to successfully pushing rocks uphill is the envisioning process.  You see we all start at the bottom of a very steep hill with a very big flat rock. Without an envisioning process it is highly likely the Rock will back over on you at some point in your journey. For those impatient Rock Pushers, take a deep breath and figure out what route you will take up the hill.  More on this later. 

Did you know you have a Hall of Fame Marriage?

Pushing the relationship rock up the hill of life is not easy.  There are times when we wonder if we can navigate through all the black holes to success.  Then you may ask yourself, how do you define success in a relationship?

Too many, simply staying married a long time is success. Others may say, how can longevity be defined as success when there are many days we do not even get along.  Here is another way to look at success in relationships.

In baseball if a player has a lifetime batting average of .333 in usually means that the player has demonstrated great success in hitting the ball. Based on this career they generally are elected to the baseball hall of fame from this success.

If you break down this "success" it means that the player got a hit 3 times out of ten. That means that 7 times out of ten they failed to get a hit.  Yet the baseball world honors this success.  In sales if a sales person made three sales out of ten attempts they would be a superstar.

So in your marriage, if you and your spouse get along 3 days out of seven you are batting .428. That marriage batting average is terrific.  You will have a hall of fame marriage with 3 days out of 7. But remember, that would mean you have 4 strikeout days.

We live in a society where when we have some bad relationship days we decide we have to move on and try to find someone who can "make more hits".  There are people every day who throw away Hall of Fame marriages thinking that they have to achieve perfection.

In most areas of life a .333 success rate is to be cheered. Take a minute to evaluate your relationship batting average.  if your close to .333 then be encouraged, you have "hall of fame" written all over you and that relationship.

It is from this new perception of success that you will find encouragement as you push the square rock of relationship uphill.